Drinking

Well I'm not saying I'm the best drinker ever or even the best drinker out of the people I know, but I do know I probably enjoy drinking more than most people. No I am not an Alcoholic (if you say step one is admitting you have a problem I swear). First, I must admit I'm not 21.........................*GASP*......
.....................I know what a rebel I am and I bet at least one person on the internet is scoffing saying wait till you get caught. Well here is the heartbreaker I HAVE BEEN CAUGHT done my community service and paid my fines so NA NA BOO BOO PHHHFT, but anyways back on subject some certain people say the following drinks are good and if your just starting to drink DON'T LISTEN TO THEM THEY ARE LIARS. How do I know this because I used to be one of those people that based everything I drank off the percent of alcohol in it, but I have seen the light and have changed my ways. Here is the list:

1. Everclear: if you say you can drink this without almost dying you are a liar and will die at a young age. It burns and its nasty but will get you there faster than any other alcohol

2. Cheap Vodka : People only like it because its cheap..............like a whore!

3. Jack Daniels: Put down your pitchforks and here me out I know this is an iconic AMERICAN whiskey but it sucks its not really all that strong and its gross compared to other whiskeys like Knob Creek and Crown Royal (if you say crown is not a whiskey i will slap you in the nuts) also Kentucky Deluxe must go also

4. Pucker: enough said drink kool-aid at least with it you will get a sugar rush and an empty wallet

5. Cheap Tequila: I will revoke this one when ONE person I mean just ONE person tells me a story that ends well when drinking a large quantity of this devils piss

If you haven't caught on yet I'm hating on cheap alcohol because one must learn in drinking cheaper is not better.

If your in a situation where only have a few dollhairs and still wanna get down and drunk here is the best way to do it

1. Think about this decision because if you cant afford alcohol can you really afford to get your ass to work the next day.

2. So, you made it pass step one congrats your conscience didn't get the best of you. How much money you got............................................DAMN your broke go scrounge up a 10 spot

3. Got that 10 spot good. Alright go to the "store" go in and buy the cheapest grain alcohol you can find *hint* *hint* its clear spring its in a tiny bottle but trust me it will be enough. After that go to the grocery store and buy a cheap 2 liter of always save cherry cola.

4. Mix that shit and chug it. No your not going to enjoy it and yes your going to gag it burns i know just do it your the cheap ass that only had 10 dollars to spare but hey your drunk aren't you

*Disclaimer*
if you are under the age of 21 DO NOT DRINK its against the law

I am not responsible for anything that happens to you whilst of after you drink the concoction above you made your bed now sleep in it